Pages Perusing Pra-ha-ha

Okay, I admit the title’s weak, but aren’t alliterations alluring? (See what I did there?) My (in)ability to come up with jarring titles aside, Prague was incredible. We’re currently on our 7 hour train ride (first class, suuuuuuup) to Budapest and I thought it was the perfect time to reflect on our adventures thus far.

First of all, and perhaps most importantly, I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to settle for non-business class travel again. When I say the plane ride itself was a vacation, I am not hyperbolizing. We were served champagne immediately upon being seated, and enjoyed sipping it as we watched the peons shuffle sadly through to their small seats in the back. I’m usually on the other side of this interaction and in the past have truly felt like a member of the proletariat, but as I sipped my champagne and lounged back in my oversized chair, I began to understand the allure of the bourgeois life. (I thought I’d pepper in some words having to do with European history to make readers believe I’m sophisticated enough to be seating in such a seat as I was.) Once we took off, things only got better. Actually, to be fair, there was a small blip – Mom’s TV wasn’t working. I felt bad as it was definitely my fault since I perpetually have bad luck with these things (like that time I went to Madrid or that time I went to China), but we hardly even noticed since the seats lounged back nearly entirely horizontally so sleeping was a legitimate option. We enjoyed our delicious and classy meal, complete with free drinks and desserts, and then laid back to try to get some sleep. Just kidding, we slept like babies until breakfast. It was the best. After a delicious breakfast, I had just enough time to review my information about Prague before we landed.

From the airport, we had to find our way to the hotel. Being in charge of transportation and lodging (“my responsibility ended when I booked the train tickets”), Dad had our bus all figured out. Likely Prague’s parallel of Triangle Transit, the Airport Express was hardly as glamorous as it sounded. It was hot and it was packed. The upside was that we were able to snag a seat, but the downside was that as a result, we ended up with people’s butts in our faces. We made a game-time decision to get off at a different stop than intended, and luckily, as opposed to that time I tried that in Ireland, it worked out perfectly.

We checked in at the Hilton Old Town Prague with no problems and headed up to check out our rooms. We were on the “executive floor” which meant we had access to the swanky executive lounge. I enjoy a swanky lounge as much as the next gal, so, after dropping off our bags, we went to go explore. As we relaxed over some complementary snacks and drinks, we decided that this was a place we would be spending a lot of time. Dad had acquired a map, on which I drew in all of my walking tours (love NatGeo.) We were conveniently located right outside of Old Town, mere steps from the beginning of my first tour. We changed out of our plane clothes and began tour number one.

Sadly, the family was not as interested in my informed commentary on all of our stops as I was, but at least they were willing to follow my path. We started at the Municipal House (a concert hall), and walk under the Powder Tower to officially enter into old town. We headed down to the square and began to truly feel the “old town charm.” It was cobblestoned and had an impressive-looking clock tower in the center, with a big church (Church of Our Lady Before Tyne) across the way. We decided to climb up the clock tower (the first of many stairs we would tackle) to get a better view. After snapping a few pictures (I’m all about Kodak moments), we headed back down 10 minutes to the hour.

According to my walking tour (which I treated like our Bible), the astronomical clock which strikes on the hour is a pretty impressive spectacle to watch. As it was close, we decided to find our spot among the people lining up to see, and Czech out (my jokes get better and better, don’t they? And more original!) what all the fuss was over. Mom and Sean were getting antsy and didn’t want to stay, but as the clock struck 3 we were all happy to be there. There was a fun little skeleton guy who rang the bell as various religious figures poked their heads out of the upper window to wave hello. There were a bunch of mechanisms on the clock which changed, and to top it off, and (real) guy with a trumpet popped out of the top to play us a little tune when the mechanical stuff ended.

Happy to have checked it off of our list so early in our Prague adventure, we meandered through the square to find ourselves some lunch. We found ourselves a nice little restaurant, and settled in for a quick bite. We quickly discovered that soda and beer cost the same amount, and all decided to go for the latter except for Mom. Mom’s soda came out with no ice (as is the norm around here). She politely asked for some more only to have the waitress touch the glass and affirm “what? It’s cold,” before glaring at her and going to get some ice from the back. I was a little nervous she was going to spit in our food, but everything came out looking tasty. I got an asparagus soup which I really enjoyed. The food seems to be pretty cheaply priced here, which makes sense as it’s 20 czech korums to one USD.

After recovering from the ice incident, we continued our trek to the famous Charles Bridge. We had all heard about it, but until you see it yourself, it’s pretty difficult to understand how magnificent it is. It’s a pedestrian bridge with giant statues lining its edges overlooking a beautiful river. We crossed over and found ourselves right near the Kafka museum and decided to see what it had to offer. I have personally only read a couple of his stories so felt a little underprepared but was excited nonetheless. Right outside the museum we stumbled upon a fun statue of two guys peeing into the pool in which they were standing (complete with full hip rotation!) As we were chuckling over the statue (because we’re immature Americans who have no appreciation for deeper meanings), we conveniently overheard a small tour coming through who happened to be speaking English. Apparently the two guys represent government officials and the pool they’re peeing into is shaped like the Czech Republic. So deep. 

Tee-hee

Feeling more sophisticated already, we headed into the museum to continue to expand our cultural knowledge. It was really cool – a large part of the museum was essentially physical representations of some of the crazy ideas in Kafka’s stories (i.e. an office that seems never to end). I wish I had studied up beforehand, but equipped with my photos, I’ll now have better mental images should I ever decide to read more Kafka.

By this point, it was getting to be dinner time, so we stopped at a beautiful bar on the river for a beer and then headed back to the hotel. We went back to the Executive Lounge (as I mentioned, it would soon become our second home) before dinner. The staff in the lounge was incredible. They were all super helpful and made dinner reservations on our behalf every night. (We would walk into restaurants be like “We, uh…have reservations under…room…816?”) The first night we headed around the block to this cool looking restaurant called Celnice (which was a little confusing because the street was also called Celnice) which was definitely a converted something, but we couldn’t tell what. Mom opted for the salad (boring), but Dad, Sean, and I got a couple of things to split – a cheese plate, cornflake covered turkey schnitzel, and some duck. It should come as no surprise that the cornflake covered schnitzel was quite obviously the best. You could actually really taste the flavor of the cornflakes. I loved it. Mom asked for water, which, as per usual in Europe, implied bottled rather than tap water and again, cost as much as the beer. She really was not making great H2O decisions on Day One, but luckily she learned from her mistakes. The lesson of course, is that one should always opt for beer. After topping off the meal with a delicious dessert (cheesecake covered in Bailey’s anyone?) and heading back to the Executive Lounge one last time, we turned in for a good night’s sleep.

The next morning, we were feeling pretty ambitious and were hoping to combine and complete my two remaining walking tours into one mega-tour. Guess where we went for breakfast? The staff at the lounge in the morning was just as helpful (and perky) as in the evening; the highlight was likely when the somewhat overeager staff member running the lounge in the morning was clarifying Sean’s request for water. “Still?” he asked, referring to the fact that Sean might want carbonated water instead. Sean gave him a look and answered “yea” in a somewhat annoyed tone, asserting the idea that his mind had not changed from ten seconds prior and he did still want water. We truly couldn’t be classier if we tried.

As I mentioned, we had big plans to see gardens and the castle and more, so we rallied and made our way out of the hotel. We decided to make our way over a different bridge so that we could see the Charles and the river all at once and snag some awesome pictures. We crossed a place which dropped us off conveniently around where Walking Tour #2 began. It was mostly gardens so we decided to pick a couple that sounded intriguing and hit those. We started with the one my tour told me was the Palace Garden, only to find that it was the Wallenstein Garden, which the tour told me was on the other side of the street and down a ways. WHY WOULD YOU LIE TO ME NATGEO? I TRUSTED YOU. Clearly, I was a bit distraught over the fact that the thing I had printed off of the internet for free was not 100% correct, but somehow we trudged on. The Wallenstein Gardens were actually really neat, and surrounded the building which is now used for Congress. We came out and headed towards the palace.

Classy Congress

We picked up the first walking tour where we had left off yesterday, in the Lesser Quarter Square. Although a seemingly rude name, it did seem sort of appropriate when one compared this square with the excitement and beauty of Old Town Square. It wasn’t even a pedestrian square – we were subjected to the mercy of the little green man. In Prague, the little green man who indicates it’s appropriate to cross is accompanied by a nerve-wracking, quick-paced clicking noise. It lasts for a short time, and my heartbeat tends to accelerate to keep up with the clicks so I found myself sprinting across in a nervous hurry. Personal neuroses aside, the highlight of the square was definitely St. Nicholas Church. Our love affair with stairs continued as we made the trek up to the top to take a look out to see some impressive, panoramic views of the city. Interestingly, the church also seconded as a spy station for the secret police, so we got to climb further up to the top to see some old spy gear and see where the spies would live and work. Overall, it was pretty cool.

On our way back down we discovered Mom’s ineptitude when it comes to lots of spiral stairs. To be fair, even though she’s scared, she’s willing and able to do them, but we were waiting a solid ten minutes for her at the bottom. I had enough time to figure out how best to get to the palace. We headed down Nerudova, “one of the handsomest streets in the Lesser Quarter,” to stop for a quick bite before climbing up to the castle. We popped into souvenir shops along the way but were overall pretty unimpressed. Mom and I split a spinach and cheese crepe for lunch, and we all tried the local beer. We were commenting on the how cool all of the glasses we’ve seen were, and Dad asked the waitress where we could buy ones like it. She said they get them directly from the brewery and they couldn’t sell them so Dad (somewhat) jokingly asked if he could steal one. She said something to the effect of “I won’t be looking” so we took that as implicit permission to snag one of the awesome glasses. Feeling like champs, we headed up to the Palace for a royal afternoon.

A long flight of stairs led us to the main gate of the castle. My disenchantment with the tours continued when I discovered there was a ramp we could have walked up instead nearby, but at least we were at the right place. We conveniently arrived right at the time of the changing of the guard which was exciting to see. We entered through the main gate and found our way to the palace’s first attraction, St. Vitus Cathedral. It was gigantic and had beautiful stained glass windows. Mom went as far as to say it was prettier than Duke Chapel – I begged to differ, but I might be a little biased. After exploring that part of the cathedral you’re able to see for free, we headed into the main palace. We bought a combined ticket for the majority of the sights to be explored on the grounds and began, as I mentioned, with the Royal Palace itself. It was neat to see, but mostly for architecture of the rooms themselves since most of the furniture was no actually there. My favorite room was one that had all of the crests of the royal families painted on the walls. It made me want a crest of my own. I guess I’ll just have to marry into royalty, since they’re probably the only people who still keep track of such things…

I mean, I guess it’s fine.

Get at me if you have one.

After the palace we continued onto St. George’s Basilica. It was a lot less ornate than St. Vitus and much more solemn. It is apparently “one of the few Romanesque buildings in Prague still standing,” but who knows if I could even trust my walking tours anymore? Continuing on from the basilica, we made our way to the Golden Lane. This was the area where all of the servants and marksmen lived, so I was a little thrown off by the name. We climbed up some narrow stairs and walked down a hall filled with all sorts of cool, old armor. My favorite was the one I affectionately dubbed “birdman,” as it literally looked like armor for big bird (complete with bird face and feet). On our way down the hallway, we spotted a stand where you could “try out a crossbow.” Obviously, Sean was eager to partake. Playing with a crossbow sure draws a crowd. Lots of people gathered to see him shoot a bull’s-eye, right in the middle. He later said that it confirmed his theory that he would have made a great medieval knight; needless to say, the whole family and surrounding crowd were impressed. Having a knack for embarrassing myself in large crowds, Sean’s success persuaded me to give it a try. I was hoping great aim was somehow a family trait. Unfortunately, it was not. I think the crowd mostly stayed out of pity to watch me miss all three times, although a few probably stepped away for fear that I might shoot so far to the left that I’d end up facing backwards and hit them. I think a large part of the problem was that the crossbow was made for righties and so I couldn’t quite hold it up or line it up in a way that I could gauge where I was shooting. (Okay, maybe not a large part…but it was definitely a contributing factor.) It’s at least reassuring to know that had I lived in the Middle Ages I would have had a brother that could protect me since I clearly could not have protected myself.

Family Protector

“What do you mean this is small? This is bigger than my apt!” – Sean

Once I recovered from my monumental failure, we moved on to what I found to be one of the more interesting parts of the royal grounds – the dungeon. It was a place I would hope never to find myself. There were cages, chains hangings from the wall, and even a sort of bodysuit made of metal hanging over a fire. Apparently the dungeon was renamed after someone who had learned to play the violin while locked up somewhere in here; I assume in one of the aforementioned devices. Before seeing it, I wasn’t all that impressed about that feat, as with enough time anyone could become an expert at anything (10,000 hour rule, amiright?), but after seeing those conditions, I had a newfound appreciation for Mr. Dalibor of the 15^th century.

We made meandered our way back down to the Lesser Quarter from the palace, and stopped for a beer before heading the see the famous Lennon Wall. I was excited to see the beautifully painted peace sign and surrounding lyrics that had popped up when I googled it, but frankly was pretty disappointed with the actual product. My mental picture had been spray painted over with gems like “SOANDSO WUZ HEREEEEEE AND IS SO ORIGINAL BECAUSE HE WRITES THINGZ LIKE IMAGINE WORLD PEACE FOREVER LOVE HEARTZ.” Maybe it wasn’t quite so bad, but I was still underwhelmed.

Whatever, Fred.

We headed back to the hotel via Kampa, a park from one of my walking tours. We found ourselves in the middle of some concert rife with dreadlocks, beer, a google plus tent, and advertisements for “rock for church.” Although I had some questions about how all of these things fit together, I was nonetheless excited about the event and the free wifi that came with it. We crossed another bridge and took a new route back to the hotel.

  

We obviously had happy hour at the exec lounge (I’m so comfortable there I feel I could abbreviate it now) and got another recommendation and reservation for dinner. We were excited for some real Czech food; Mom, Dad, and I got Goulash in a bread bowl. It was soooo good. As Dad is a meat and potatoes type of guy, I was pretty sure that Czech food was right up his alley and was definitely correct in this assumption. Dad and Sean tried the “national drink of Czech land,” some sort of ginger shot (it was gross), and Dad snagged the glass. We’re really terrible people, but I’m okay with it.

Meet Sophisticated Sean, the world’s new favorite meme.

Our goal for the night was to find a jazz club, something Prague is known for. We found one via the recommendation of the waiter at the restaurant, but Dad wasn’t thrilled so we decided to meander towards the river and find another one. We did and we enticed by the red and black walls and promise of some sort of non-traditional jazz, and so we sat down. What we got once the show started was essentially watching my grandmother tripping on drugs with pink hair…but in a good way, mostly. The band consisted of her, a pianist / mandolin player, bassist, and drummer. They were all incredibly talented and other than the occasional screaming and buzzing (unclear), it was pretty cool! Mom was pretty displeased with the first set and would sometimes lament about how we should have stayed at the first, more traditional place, however, she got really into it for the second set, and eventually even came around to the rest of the family’s conclusion that the woman on stage was in fact the Czech (and as I mentioned, somewhat high) version of her mother. We headed back to the hotel and (since the exec lounge was closed – we’re so fun that we stay out late) got a drink at the real hotel bar, eavesdropped on a conversation between a man and the 72 year old woman he was hitting on while her husband sat and played on his iPad.

Don’t let the pink hair fool you – she’s definitely over 70

As we had covered the walking tours, we decided to take a day trip on our last day in Prague. I was trying to find something fun to do and decided to look up where the brewery was for the delicious Czech beer that was everywhere, Pilsner Urquell was. It was mere hour and half train ride away! We had breakfast and then headed to the train station – it’s the same station we left out of this morning so it was a good practice run. The train ride went smoothly (in compartment cars, just like Florence except with fewer inappropriate Mi Scuzzi jokes) and we got to Plzen right around 11:45. As everything I saw online said the brewery is right in the city center, I didn’t bother to look up explicit directions on how to get there. This was probably a mistake as when we got out of the train station there was no obvious indication as to where the center of town was. Mom interrupted a police man in the process of writing someone up for a ticket and asked for directions. Luckily, she didn’t get shot and we were on our way. We followed what we thought were his directions and ended up at some abandoned bar…oops? Maybe that was his subtle way of telling us it’s inappropriate to interrupt. I started to get a little nervous when we continued wandering around and found everything was closed (as it was Sunday) so there was no one we could really ask. As we made our way back to the train station to see what was on the other side of it (getting closer and closer to the 1245 start time of the tour), we saw a hotel across the street and decided to ask there. Turns out we were just one street off and adorable little town was waiting for us right across the way!

Pleased to have made it to Plzen

We made it there in time for the tour and were met by our English-speaking guide, Tereza. She was nice, funny, and informative. What more could one want from a guide? It was reminiscent of when I toured the Guinness factory in Ireland, only this time we got to see the process actually happening rather than just learning about it. It was impressive to see – especially the production line for processing and bottling, and we even got to have a large glass of unfiltered Pilsner Urquell at the end. Next, we headed to the only restaurant in town for lunch. It’s interesting because it seems like the entire town was built around the brewery. Lunch was pretty good – I got broccoli in a cheese sauce with some bread, Sean got a bratwurst and Mom and Dad got some soups. We finished up, and then headed to the gift shop where we got a couple of exciting things before heading back to the train station.

As we relaxed in the lounge we tried to find a place for dinner. I wanted to go to a restaurant Elleana had recommended but it unfortunately closed pretty early so we weren’t going to make it. We went instead to a restaurant Mom’s friend’s cousin (all about networking) recommended. She actually recommended the rooftop part, so we booked that for dessert and ate inside for dinner. It was soooo good! Sean and I split a salmon dish and a shrimp dish, but Dad’s steak and Mom’s pasta were really tasty too. We had some time to kill between dinner and dessert so did one last walkthrough of the square. We got back to the restaurant about 15 minutes early but they took us anyway. The view was worth the wait. It looked out over the square on one side and the palace on the other. The dessert was phenomenal. (Ice cream – duh.) We heard the excited cheers of people watching the quarterfinal match of the Eurocup in the square, and took in some last views of Prague before heading back to the hotel. We’ve already had a wonderful trip, but I’m excited for our journey to continue in Budapest!