We're officially obsessed with ABA. She led us on some awesome adventures through Yongshuo today, and she's even started joking with us. She has this hilarious and maniacal little chuckle every time she does something she thinks is funny, which I'm a big fan of. I also love her stories – they're long and involved and I often miss the point, but she doesn't care and will just plow on through and then look at you expectantly. I love her go-to catch phrases – "it's-okay," and "that's for tourists." Most importantly, I love all of the cool things she set up for us today.
Our day began in Guilin. We took a river boat cruise down here to Yangshuo, a super small and beautiful city where we're spending the night. I wish Annie had told us to bring cards or something, because as much as the views were beautiful, I'm sorry to say that it got a bit redundant after four hours. Lauren was being boring and slept for awhile, and Annie was really overeager about going on the top floor of the boat and taking pictures, so I have acquired an unnecessary amount of solo shots from today. We did manage to rouse Lauren for the "top highlight, number one scenery" – we actually saw the scene that is depicted on the back of a 20 yuan bill which was pretty cool (although I'd value the view a bit higher personally.)
After taking what seemed to be an excessively long time to park the boat, we got off and walked to our hotel. We meandered through a large open market. Even though it was drizzling a bit, we were scheduled to go for a bike ride through the country side and were still excited to go. (Some of you might be aware that biking is not at the top of my list of skills, but I'm pretty good when it comes to leisurely, low-pressure riding.) When we got to our hotel and settled in, ABA told us we had 15 minutes to relax (since she's all business) and that she would meet us down in the lobby to go get our bikes since it the rain wasn't "that big."
Lauren and I each got lovely pink bikes and after adjusting the seats, we set off. In order to get to the country side we had to bike through the city, which is where my internal monologue about how imminent my death was began. It pretty much continued running for the duration of the ride. If you recall, traffic from the inside of a car is scary – take away the metal box protecting you and it's downright petrifying. Obviously, ABA was flying through traffic – a bus came within literally 6 inches of her and she didn't flinch. I thought it would be better once we were off the main roads, but it might have actually been worse, considering there were cars, buses, and trucks going in both directions on a street that was clearly wide enough for only a small car going in one direction. Lauren and ABA seemed unfazed, however, and once I got over the crippling fear of death (and by got over, I mean released my anxiety through gripping my handlebars as hard as humanly possible to give me a false sense of security), I was able to appreciate the incredible scenery we were riding through. I wasn't able to take many pictures because it was raining (aka I was terrified), but we did get one good one proving that we went. It was a beautiful ride and actually a lot of fun. It felt good to move around, and it was a great way to see what Yangshuo has to offer outside of the immediate vicinity of our hotel in the short time we have here.
The highlight of our ride was definitely the stop we made to these old farmers who live in the only original, old style home that live in the area. Two couples live there – a pair of brothers and their wives. They're super old and totally hilarious. They're apparently descendents of a great general in the Qing dynasty. As soon as we entered their house they offered us peanuts picked freshly from their personal farm. They were delicious. They offered us oranges too, but the most exciting things they had were definitely all of their homemade wines. Now, these were not your normal rice wines. There was one that was in a vat of gigantic centipedes, one in a vat of some littler bugs, and one in a vat of poisonous snakes with a giant centipede or two on top for good luck. I asked the man (via Lauren since there was obviously a language barrier) if he actually drank the wines and he demonstrated that he drank a little of the snake wine each day to make him strong. (Annie later explained that the wine helps prevent rheumatoid arthritis. "You eva see snake with rheumatoid arthritis?" Love her.) He then gave a fist pump of success because of how strong he was. Then the best thing ever happened – he offered Lauren and I some snake wine to try. UM, YES PLEASE! (Lauren could not be more disgusted and promised she'd take a picture of me trying it.) He offered me a half shot (explaining that it's very strong and that this is more than enough) and there is a video of me tasting it. That stuff was not wine – it tasted like straight alcohol and was tough to sip politely. I also might die of snake poisoning, but at least I won't have rheumatoid arthritis? Right now however, I feel like a champion. Before heading out, he had his pet birds do flips for us. I wish I had taken a video, but he counted to ten – first in English (his English is on the same level as my Chinese…we probably should have talked about Math and we would have been golden), and then in Chinese – and the birds literally did backflips. How great does this guy sound? ABA knows how to pick 'em.
After our visit with the cool, old people, we continued our ride and somehow made it back to the hotel alive. ABA, being the best, had arranged for us to go see the famous Yangshuo play that takes place on a floating stage. She told us she'd meet us back in the lobby in a few hours. It's unclear how she spent that time as she went back to Guilin tonight (even though she later told us "many tour guides wanted to share a room with me), but I'm sure it was something productive ( since you know how ABA is). Lauren and I headed down the main street to check out the shopping situation. We bought a couple of super cheap and great things, and then obviously were due for a meal. (Typical super fats.) We tried our best to find a restaurant with local fare, and settled on one with an adorable little girl running around. We ended up getting snails (we tried lots of weird things today), some veggies, and the famous local dish – Li River Beer fish. We even got some local beer to go with it. (Lauren was feeling wild.) The snails were surprisingly delicious, and the fish was incredibly fresh…as in the owner of the restaurant literally picked it up out of the tank next door and then cooked it. It was delicious.
After dinner we got ready for the show. We weren't really sure what to expect, and in the ride over, Annie tried to give us a brief summary of what was happening. Obviously, we still had no idea what she was talking about when she finished but we nodded because that's what she wanted us to do. The theater was entirely outside, and it was raining a bit but they provided ponchos. It was actually one of the most interesting shows I've ever seen. The stage was literally in and around the open water and surrounding mountains. Now, I have no idea what was going on, but Annie explained that it was an abstract show and everything gets something different out of it. I took some pictures / videos but don't think either came out particularly well, so I'll provide you with my commentary on what was happening and it you'll have to accept it because you have no other choice.
We open with 5 people who introduce the show. They talked about where they were from (according to Lauren), but I like to think about them like the singing ladies at the start of Hercules. I believe that they gave us a little background (in song form, obviously) to what was about to happen. They introduce our star-crossed lovers, etc. They left and then we meet our main lady. She's all sorts of lonely, just hanging out in a boat by herself. I think she's rich. She just wants love, you know? She sings about it, blah, blah, and then we cut to a scene of everyday life in the village. There's major sexual tension between the girls who were sort of annoyingly shrill when they sang, and the men who were chanting. Also, they were holding fire. I decided that they were displeased with our original lady because she chose to love a commoner, but they actually didn't seem angry at all so the fire might have just been to throw us off. Then we cut to the farmers – this was the coolest part of the show. I can't describe it at all, so instead I'll just continue to make up an unreasonable storyline. The farmers all fall hopelessly in love with our girl, but she's already found love (in a hopeless place). Then there's a cow. (Seriously. Why buy a cow for just one scene?) We're then looking up into the night sky, presumably from the perspective of our lonely lady. Our farmers have now become stars and there's a moon in the middle of the ocean. Then a naked lady's on top of it. She wasn't actually naked, but ABA said when they first opened the show in 2003 she was, but it was too distracting so now she's just in a nude-colored body suit. I have no comments on why that might have happened. Luckily, in the next scene our lovers get married. YAY! Then, the last scene fast forwarded 1000 years and everybody was robots. Fin. Hope that clarified things for you.
After it was over, Annie made some power moves getting us out of there. She had pre-arranged the taxi for us before we went in because she's a forward thinker like that. When we got back we wondered around the market a bit more (it was really big) and got a glass of tea before heading back to the hotel. I got a glass of honey melon milk tea, because I was all about trying weird things today. Pretty good – worth my 2 bucks. Now we're settled in the hotel watching some unreasonable Chinese TV, featuring a show in which orphans perform in a talent show…? So many questions about this country. Luckily, we have ABA for one more day, and she'll likely have a long, involved, and intricately imaginative answer for each and every one.
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